Evidence: Uses brain science to explain children's behaviour; the 12 strategies come from the authors' clinical experience rather than trials. Evidence level: expert opinion.
Toddlers, 1–3 years
Toddlers move from single words to short conversations, start to notice other people's feelings, and love to explore and pretend.CDC · Milestones by 3 years ↗
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What your child is developing
These are things most children can do by this age. They are for understanding your child, not a scorecard; every child develops at their own pace.CDC · Positive parenting tips: infants (0–1) ↗
Social and emotional
- By 2, notices when others are hurt or upset, and looks at your face to see how to react in a new situation.CDC · Milestones by 2 years ↗
- By 3, calms down within 10 minutes after you leave, and joins other children to play.CDC · Milestones by 3 years ↗
Language
- By 2, says at least two words together, like "More milk".CDC · Milestones by 2 years ↗
- By 3, talks with you in at least two back-and-forth exchanges and asks who, what, where and why questions.CDC · Milestones by 3 years ↗
Thinking and learning
- By 2, tries switches, knobs and buttons, and plays with more than one toy at a time, like toy food on a toy plate.CDC · Milestones by 2 years ↗
- By 3, avoids touching hot objects when you warn them.CDC · Milestones by 3 years ↗
Movement
- By 2, runs and kicks a ball.CDC · Milestones by 2 years ↗
- By 3, uses a fork and puts on some clothes by themselves.CDC · Milestones by 3 years ↗
When to talk to a doctor: If your child is not meeting the milestones for their age, has lost skills they once had, or you are worried about how they play, learn, speak, act or move, talk with your child's doctor. Don't wait: acting early can make a real difference.CDC · Concerned about your child's development? ↗
The research behind it
What each study found comes first, then the kind of study and where it was published. We prefer systematic reviews and meta-analyses, and check for new research every month.Following about 2,400 children, more screen time at 2 and 3 years was linked to poorer developmental screening results a year or more later.
A meta-analysis of 42 studies. More screen use was linked to weaker language skills, while co-viewing with an adult and better-quality programmes were linked to stronger skills.
For children aged 1 to 8, play with gentle adult guidance did better than direct teaching on early maths, shapes and switching between tasks, and better than free play on spatial words. Other outcomes showed no difference.
9-month-old infants learned Mandarin speech sounds from live sessions with a person, but not from the same material shown on video or audio.
Idea roots
Educators whose ideas connect to this stage. Open one to see what modern research supports and what it does not. Maria Montessori 1870–1952 Toddlers' wish to do things themselves is what Montessori built her method on. Friedrich Froebel 1782–1852 Froebel put play at the centre of early learning; guided play is backed by research today. Lev Vygotsky 1896–1934 Language helps children plan and control what they do, a link Vygotsky studied.
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What you can do together
- Set up a special time to read books together.CDC · Positive parenting tips: toddlers (2–3) ↗
- Encourage pretend play.CDC · Positive parenting tips: toddlers (2–3) ↗
- Go for walks to explore things around you, and teach simple songs and rhymes.CDC · Positive parenting tips: toddlers (2–3) ↗
- Give active physical challenges and let them try again when a first attempt fails.Harvard Center on the Developing Child · Activities for 18–36 months ↗
- If you speak more than one language fluently, use them with your child.Harvard Center on the Developing Child · Activities for 18–36 months ↗
Free tools for this age
How we choose tools3
Health and safety essentials
Sleep in 24 hours11–14 hoursWHO 2019; AASM 2016
Physical activity180+ minutesWHO 2019
Sedentary screen timeNone at 1; up to 1 hour at 2WHO 2019
- Guidelines on physical activity, sedentary behaviour and sleep for children under 5 years of age · World Health Organization
- Media and Young Minds (AAP policy statement) · AAP Council on Communications and Media
- CDC's Developmental Milestones (Learn the Signs. Act Early.) · US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
- Vaccines and immunization ↗ · World Health Organization
- Safety and prevention ↗ · American Academy of Pediatrics
Further reading
Classic parenting books with a note on the evidence. Links go to publisher details and library holdings (WorldCat). No affiliate links.Evidence: Three developmental scientists summarise infant research up to 1999 for parents. Newer studies have added detail since.